look out below!

This month's RPG Blog Carnival about garbage and sewers (hosted by 6d6 RPG) drew me in.  After all, if I can write about this, then anything else is easy.

Emptying chamberpots from upstairs window was a feature of city life from ancient Rome to the Regency.  For centuries, urban streets served as open sewers. The infrastructure under your average medieval privy wasn't usually more than a pit. Even this yields fertile gaming ground.  This is before plumbing and the fantastic elements of magic, monsters and other realities.

So, let's start with the one thing all have in common...

Night soil

Before the sewer came the humble cess pit or cess pool, positioned under or away from the dwelling. Buckets or chamber pots would be emptied by servants. Some ancient cultures relied on gravity to transfer waste to the cesspit. These pits were sometimes perforated to assist with drainage of liquids into the soil. The leaching into the soil could be a problem so placement was serious business.  Too close to your water supply was fatal.  Sobering thought when foraging for water near a goblin camp.

Where there's muck, there's brass.

Over time, cess pits fill up. Night soil removal was antisocial yet lucrative. Often working at night, these rakers or night men used long-handled scoops and buckets to load the filth into barrels onto wagons for transportation to specific dumping grounds, certain river piers or marshes.  Some took their cargo to nearby farms for fertiliser.

A night-time urban chase scene involving a dung cart is memorably nasty for those involved.

As late as the 14th century, stories of homes collapsing into cesspits underneath were recorded. This was not just a commoner thing.  In 1183 at the Palace of Erfurt, the Holy Roman Emperor escaped death after a feast where many guests drowned in the cesspit.  Ironic sequel was Richard Raker, a London cesspit emptier whose privy collaped sending him to drown in his work in 1326.

Something to consider if you explore abandoned ruins.  Or a vile trap for the heavily-armoured. 

Not everyone could afford to pay this service or for the protection that it needed.  Gangs stoned night men or shot their horses as late as 1850 in New York if they weren't paid. Indiscriminate dumping was also a problem. Cities charged big fines for unauthorised dumping and beadles (church-sponsored or civic functionaries) supervised to keep the streets clean.  Few faiths want diseased worshippers.

Religions with hygiene laws may be actively involved.  Those acolytes must be good for something.

Sewers solving the problem

Sewers were intended to remove water (draining storm water or marsh) since Babylonian times and removal of waste was an incidental benefit.  Ancient China, Babylon, Crete, Egypt, Greece, Pakistan, Palestine and Rome built infrastructure to support. Crete and Greece had sewer arches big enough to pass through. Rome delayed adoption partly due to privacy concerns! The Romans under Emperor Vespasian built public urinals.  This (and a tax against urinating in public) kept Romans from fouling the stairs and collected urine for dye-making to boost the Emperor's coffers.

As with all ablutions, Romans made this social and gossip and intrigue could be conducted here. An enterprising ruler requires much wealth to provide this act of philanthropy.  Or slave labour on demand.

Where medieval sewers were kept away from streets (not often in Europe) they linked up to irrigation channels and solid traps for people to farm for fertiliser.  Tanners would hire people to bring pots of urine for coin. The practice of street vendors offering 'modesty cloaking' as a customer relieved themselves continued from Rome until the 17th century and later. Such vendors could learn many things. Toilets were decreed by law in France in the late 16th century though these would just feed back into chamber pots or earth closets. 

The concept of privacy was nascent even then.  Royal audiences could be conducted here as well as more sordid affairs and odd assassination attempts.

Sewer constrfuction boomed in the 19th century.  Steampunk dungeoneers may clear out monsters by Royal Charter for sewer engineers.  Later construction may inspire horror games.  Public urinals made their comeback, initially in Paris and India.  The industrial revolution and advent of rail mandated change.  As long-distance travel became ubiquitous, the need for privacy and restroom aesthetics increased alongside them.

Magical solutions & monstrous opportunities

The sewer offers down and dirty dungeoncrawling with added risks of disease, noxious gases and dubious water supply linked to canal, marsh, river or sea. Medieval sewers existed but enclosed sewers that people could travel along were rare in the real world until the 19th century.

Magical societies may have avoided atavism and linked sewers to canals or irrigation channels.  Magic may be used for sanitation, turning the sewage into something cleaner and more useful. Or it may transport it somewhere else.  Altruistic cities will work on safe transit.  Others may be less kind. Cloud castle cess pits are no laughing matter.  Oozes as clean-up crew make sense if you stop them climbing out into unauthorised areas. 

Such underground construction may be linked to cave networks. This would be a smuggler's paradise.  If there were underground catacombs, the décor would be spooky and occupants may be undead or hangers-on. From such fertile roots may megadungeons spring.  It may not just be water and waste in the cesspool. Alchemical wastes, wizardly experiments and unholy messes may alter the deal (and local residents) further.

Ecology of the sewer

This discussion is more interesting than some would have you believe.  The community above determines how active and large the population is below. The primary influx of energy is waste matter, just over a quarter of a pound (128g) per human per day from excreta.  Other sources of biomass are sometimes dumped into sewers, your call on how frequent and how much.  About 10% of biomass produced supports life at each trophic level.  The rest is lost to the messy business of living.  So for a city of 40,000 (say like Middle Ages London, by no means the largest city) that's 11,200lbs of potential biomass per day in a one mile area.

First trophic level is a mixture of bacteria, detritivore (e.g. flies, millipede, ooze), decomposer (e.g. fungi, mold), omnivore (e.g. cockroach) and where the sun rarely reaches, autotroph (algae).  About a half-ton (1,120 lbs) mean some sewers are lively even with flooding.  As long as the food keeps coming they're happy.  The higher levels won't starve.

Second trophic level includes larger detritivores, omnivores and primary consumers of the first trophic level.  Bats, centipedes, frogs, rats, small fish, spiders.  About 112 lbs per day keep near their food supply.  Remember 9 out of 10 don't get eaten and most of these live more than a day. Active but barring unusual local species, below our consideration.  Until something causes a swarm.  More on that later.

Third trophic level are secondary consumers. About 11 lb of biomass makes this the apex predator.  Maybe a few giant rats (for Princess Bride or James Herbert fans), a nest of vipers or a solitary, sewer-dwelling lynx.  Other visitors are desparate wanderers.  Bad food, poor water and plentiful disease discourage most.  Yet in winter, many options are considered.

Water is poor-quality as decay deoxygenates water.  This is mitigated by rain from storm drains.  Fish and molluscs survive where water is cleaner but drinking isn't advised and shellfish will be contaminated.  Disease is a real risk, your average bacillus ain't heavy and a teaspoon of Clostridium botulinus goes a long way. Beware brackish pools and fouled water.  Higher trophic levels can also scavenge from the waste directly.

Definitions of edible and serving suggestions vary by species.  Tweak towards interesting for your game.
 

Interfering with the ecology

Remember this is before adding other organic waste and missing persons. In a city of 40,000 souls, some will be evil.  Medieval homicide rates were higher (about 0.5 - 1%) and the body must go somewhere.  One person killed every day for a year is noticeable.  A scientific guess of one body a week dumped down the sewer makes about an extra 20lbs of protein per day for the omnivores and detritivores.  Now imagine how a serial killer or discreet murderhobo changes things. 

Missing folk and an explosion of vermin may raise questions.  Particularly if plague comes calling.

The vampire or wererat nest in a sewer is classic.  Imagine Welles' The Third Man with wererats?  Now add those swarms mentioned earlier.  Constructs may work tirelessly to stop blockages.  Elementals may be twisted by this environment.  Outsiders and otherworldly monstrosities may adopt a sewer for their own bizarre purposes or perhaps in memory of home.

Undead may depopulate or shift the ecology.  Ghouls may be a problem if there's linked catacombs.

Speaking of scavengers, fungoids, rat-folk and other carrion crawlers may find the sewers ideal.  More mundane monsters may include big snakes, crocodiles and octopoid monsters like sewer squid or darkmantles. Oozes and slimes are obvious clean-up crew, quite a few climb and squeeze through tiny openings.  An amorphous self-cleaning killer may be tricky for investigative types.

 ...to another is treasure!

Scavenged loot may be taken magpie-like by sewer dwellers. It may be hastily discarded. It's not likely to be the wealth of ages.  Yet the oddest things have a way of ending up down there.   It's more likely loot is incidental and small.  Stories and rumours may say differently.  While a dragon's hoard is unlikely down here, it's not an obvious hiding place is it?

As with everything, history trumps the fevered imagination. Keeping it primitive may boost grimdark quotient and Rabelaisian bawdry.  Magical sewers require an interesting backstory.  The who, why and when matter.  The threat of disease, monsters and worse (the smell!) motivates heroes or profiteers.  It may also motivate villains.  Plenty for a GM to work with.

unlikely treasures 2: even still more loot for the taking

Roll d12 for the loot!

1. Matched set of masterwork half-plate & masterwork heavy shield with silver shield spikes (1400gp).
   Weighs 70lbs.  Armour is AC+8, armour penalty -6, spell failure 40%, weighs 50lbs.  Shield is AC+2, armour penalty -1, spell failure 15%, weighs 20lbs.  Shield spikes are a masterwork silver weapon doing 1d6 damage on shield bash.
2. Mithril throwing hammer with ornate dwarven runes and ornamental blue gem inlays (1200gp).   Weighs 1lb.  Head is topped with a cabochon-cut blue jasper (100gp) and hilt inlaid with lapis lazuli  bands (four bands worth 10gp each).  The runes name the hammer 'Truesilver's Kiss'.
3. Medium ornate-carved cedar chest (1100gp).
   Weighs 35lb.  Contains six everburning torches, six vials of antitoxin and three thunderstones.  Opens so torches light (harmlessly) around contents.  Chest is worth 100gp (weighs 50lb empty).
4. Crystal flask holding tawny liquid (1000gp).
   Weighs 1lb. Holds nine doses of exotic perfume (worth 100gp each) that grants +2 reaction bonus for anyone with a sense of smell.  The flask is worth 50gp empty.
5. Deed of ownership (1000gp).
   Weighs 1lb. Ownership of an axebeak egg from a renowned breeder and trainer.  Hatching, training, saddle, stabling and upkeep not included.
6. Gold and ivory puzzle box (1000gp).
   Weighs 5lbs.  Fiendishly difficult, requires a Disable Device (DC20, can retry once a day) then an Intelligence check (DC15) to open.  Has hardness 7, 15 hit points and a break DC of 25.
7. Large ornate-carved oak and ivory chest (1000gp).
   Weighs 280lbs. Contains 180lbs of silver dust in 18 burlap bags of 10lb weight (worth 5gp each). Chest is worth 90gp (weighs 100lb empty).
8. Necklace of amber beads on gold wire (1000gp).
   Weighs 2lbs.  Made up of 16 amber beads (50gp each) and a larger cabochon-cut amber (100gp).
9. Ornate gold bracelet to fit large person (1000gp).
   Weighs 4lbs.  Would suit efreet or fire giant.
10. Silver fox coat with yeti fur trim (1000gp).
    Weighs 5lbs.  Suitable for royalty, would suit an average human.
11. Crystal-studded gold-plated conical open helm (900gp).
    Weighs 5lb.  Helm is AC16 vs. head attacks only, crystals are blue quartz and rock crystal worth 700gp in total.  Helm without gems is worth 25gp
12. Masterwork gold-plated breastplate with steel armour spikes (800gp).
    Weighs 30lb. +6AC, -3 Armour penalty, 25% spell failure. Would fit a muscular human.  Spikes do 1d6 (x2) in grapple or as normal attack.

assorted dungeon keys

And if you thought the lock was unusual, check out the keys.  Roll d12.

1. Bronze master key.  Fits 50% of locks on this level or in this part of the dungeon. 
2. Darkwood key with long shank.  Totally non-conductive for electricity.  May be useful for an electrified lock? 
3. Fulgurite key of hexagonal shape that reduces electrical damage by 2 points when used to open an electrified lock. Worth 300gp. 
4. Heavy key of magical red-veined iron that reduces heat or fire damage by 2 points when placed in a lock that radiates heat or flames.  Worth 300gp. 
5. Jet key set into ring carved from a single piece of stone used by ancient wizards.  Warm to the touch, suitable focus for magic jar.  Worth 250gp to arcane collectors, 200gp otherwise.
6. Leaden key that reduces negative energy damage by 1 point if inserted into a lock charged with negative energy. Worth 150gp.
7. Naga-bone key of interlocking small bones for the blade and a bone cameo for the bow.  Worth 200gp for the craftmanship and exotic material. 
8. Plaited red gold and faience key with spiralling blade and bow shaped as a miniature shepherd's crook.   The crook is used to disable a needle trap on certain locks by those in the know.  Worth 300gp to the right people, 150gp to the uninitiated.
9. Rusted iron key with letters SIR etched on bow.  This key radiates moderate transmutation magic.  If placed inside a metal lock, and the word 'SIR' is spoken, lock and key collapse into flakes of rust. This destroys and unlocks the particular lock.  The key is only usable once.  Worth 700gp.
10. Topaz key of rose and orange hue.  Enchanted to be tough as steel.  Worth 600gp due to craftmanship and enchantment. 
11. Vampiric skeleton key, works on locks 50% of time. If touched by bare skin drains 1 point of Constitution then open locks 75% of the time until next sunrise.  Will not be inserted into a lock in sight of a holy symbol.  Constitution loss is recovered by 8 hours sleep
12. X-bladed silver key.  Fits a specific superior lock that imposes a -20% (-4) to picking due to wards.

3DPBMCSHMtm: jotunfell

Frost Giants Attack by Jeff Fairbourn

The next piece of 3DPBMCSHMtm returns to Altorr and deals with the reaver giants of Jotunfell. Bards and faerie mock giantish slowness. Yet the warriors recall rocks smashing cavalry and shield-mates sundered by axes and do not laugh.  When the reavers of Jotunfell march, nobody is safe. More than one lordling ignores the hillfolk then finds his steading smashed and his serfs enslaved. The mountain passes are feared with good cause.

The four clans

Jotunfell is a glacial mountain pass surrounded by hills.  The Aerie of Jotunfell is a great castle commanding the pass.  The Skugga family of cloud giants hold the castle, forming the linchpin of an alliance of giants.  The Skugga banner is a black cloud on azure with two silver teardrops.  The frost giants impale a cave bear skull on a longspear.  The cyclops banner is a golden one-eyed ram skull with curved horns on black field.  The hill giant standard is a great spear with three gilded dire wolf skulls pointing three different directions.

Every equinox, the Skugga invite the leaders and retinue to Jotunfell to discuss events this season.   Cautious acceptance is best recommended.  The giants know not to offend the Skugga.  Giants fall badly from great heights.  The Skugga play favourites between hill giant and cyclops as the frost giants enjoy the show. Between such games of state, raids are plotted.  Here the Skugga display tactical acumen and diplomatic skill in getting the giants to agree.

The hills have eyes

Cyclops and hill giant clans violently contested claims to the hills around Jotunfell before the Demonplague. Now the clans work together with occasional violence.  The ogre families who serve the hill giants enjoy opportunities for violence and torturing hill folk.  Their glacial cousins have stranger habits still.

Jotunfell hill giants are ravaging brutes that smash opponents with ogre and dire wolf allies.  Hurled rocks soften up cavalry or spellcasters.  As they advance they bellow dire threats to break the nerves of opponents and this often succeeds.  Then they charge, intent on breaking the bones.  Those taken as slaves are valued for their strength, either as disposable warriors or as labourers.  While hill giants demand the slaves breed, few do.

By contrast cyclops pick their battles.  They take full advantage of terrain and weather.  The large crossbow has versatility. Some bolts are tipped with black adder venom or dung.  Cyclops snipers watch for spellcasters and single them out.  If the foe are softened up, the greataxes come out. Few shield walls can withstand that.  The cyclops delight in slavery, valuing each of their thralls, feuding when a slave is stolen.

Both groups accept bribes from slavers or rogue merchants seeking audience and trade with the Skugga. Each group demands tolls independently of the other.  The Skugga rein in the hill giants by making messy examples of ogre allies of theirs.  Both groups salve their honour and the ogres get a reminder of who's really in charge.

Heart of ice, bloody hands

Frost giants dwell in the glacial crevasses of  Jotunfell.  Serdtsida Bluebeard wields boreal sorcery, leading the clan to reaving softer lands and slave taking.  The great winter wolf Gyar is his companion.  He is chieftain as the jarl was defeated in battle and carried off by the Skugga.  Serdtsida uses magic to deceive or destroy foes.  He thinks the jarl is dead and will brutalise any who suggest rescue attempts within earshot.

The other giants are savage warriors.  Serdtsida has grown brutal and alliance the Skugga has its rewards - this are good times.  Even eating human tastes better.When reaving the lower hills, they are terrifying.  They keep three ogres as scouts and spies among ogre allies of the hill giants.  Though few, they are well fed and equipped.  Relations with the cyclops, hill giants and ogres are cordial despite cannibalism and psychopathic shows of might.  Nobody interferes with slavers visiting the frost giants.  Though few, the frost giants are brutal enemies with poor impulse control and access to magic.  Even the wildest hill giant notices a trail of chewed bones and dismembered, half-eaten limbs.

Kadjila, the slave-handler is the clan's smith and carefully trades slaves and steel with the Skugga.  She hated the lecherous jarl, supporting Serdtsida staunchly.  Those too weak to survive are eaten by the giants or given to the ogres as pets. Kadjila's forge is kept by three ogrekin.  Each has a massive arm, stunted legs and enough smithcraft to make them very valuable.

Castle in the air

Dwelling in the Aerie is the Skugga, a family of cloud giants.  Though only five in number, each has a personal attack griffon and numerous slaves in attendance.  Peto, the family head is a brutal sorceror of Abyssal ancestry who plans to rule Altorr.  His remaining family are ordinary cloud giants.  Clad in finery, evil lives in their eyes and the cruelties they indulge upon their victims.

The Skugga united the giants by tactical acumen and shows of raw power crushing their opponents.  The Skugga view other giants in the alliance as allies rather than friends.Slavers make overtures to the Skugga with choice slaves, finery and treasures to warm the avaricious.  The Skugga now hold a debased court.
Their slaves indulge sadistic whims, terrified of being 'cast out' off walls or left for the harpies.  Slaves are kept for cooking, cleaning and craft.  The Skugga enjoy being pampered by a retinue while playing a harp or engaging in negotiations.

The Skugga enjoy harpysong, numerous harpies nest in the towers, taking odd slaves as mate and food. The nests hold small altars to Pazuzu, a demon lord accepting tributes of bloody fresh tongues. Yet their filth conceals greater horror. The frost giant jarl lies chained, naked and used by the harpies who took his tongue. Others have come before him.  The harpies still bring sacrifices who die faster.

3DPBMCSHMtm: in the underworlds

This installment of 3DPBMCSHMtm deals with the dungeons of the three worlds.  There are places where travel between is possible.  These are often well-guarded.  For other dungeons, getting out is harder.

Dungeons in Altorr

Altorr's dungeons are mostly isolated affairs. The notable exceptions are dwarven holdfasts and the Great Riddle where connecting tunnels run far away. Dungeons in Altorr have purpose. Abandoned mines, barrows for warlords, death-traps for tyrants, druidic labyrinths or dungeons to trap demon or faerie.  These are just examples.

Barrows of the dead
These are typically spear-shaped.  A tunnel with the warlord's deeds and fallen allies leads to a diamond-shaped chamber.  Here the warlord and his grave goods rest.  If disturbed, a warlord rises as undead and seeks vengeance until destruction or goods are returned.

Druidic labyrinths
Natural caverns and grottos are adapted by some druids.  Some are formed into labyrinths by earth magic while others are naturally enigmatic and maze-like.  Apart from shelter, caves are home to numerous natural allies (bats, cave bears etc.) as well as safe storage.

Death-trap dungeons and jails of night.
Some dungeons are built to permanently solve political problems, combining oubliette with death-trap. Others are jails for demons and their cultists.  Still others are built to hold faeries or those who have angered the Court of Shade.  Those last two share less commonality than expected.  Guardians are typically monstrous with traps designed to kill intruders or the prisoners of the owners.

The Great Riddle
These labyrinthine caverns run the length of the forested hills and hold a gigantic bioluminescent fungus. They are located on Clune's southern border.  Used by demon and druid, the Great Riddle is dueling ground, initiatory labyrinth and exceedingly strange.  The Goblin Market regularly appears at entrances.  Those visiting the Great Riddle rarely come out unchanged.  The deepest caves of the Great Riddle are whispered to link to  The Crawler's bloody wake.

Under Bellotra

Bellotra is built upon ruins and decay.  Places not already sacked, burnt-out or colonised tend to a quiet place.  The Rotten Burgs have rat-runs of cellars and vaults.  The canals also have sections underground. These Undercanals combine canal and sewer with volcanic mud, magma flow, desperate refugee and hungry monster.

Extravagant folly 
Most dungeonesque structures in Bellotra have a legacy.  Mausoleums of ancient nobles and vaults for their treasures are well-known though often stories deceive.  These are often decorated by art and sculpture.  The extravagance of a permanent monument sits well with Bellotran taboos around death and oblivion.

Magic-heavy
Oh yes, there will be magic.  Spellsellers treat vaults as chances to showcase talents, building notoriety with ingenious traps or bizarre magics. Discretion can be a concern.  Some spellsellers take an extended sojourn after a commission to prevent regrettable cases of mistaken identity.  Others merely increase their fees.

Unusual construction materials
Elemental corrosion in Bellotra forces artisans to make lasting structures from elaborate materials and innovative methods.  The artisans decorated the usual materials further. Ceramic tiles, tinted metal panels and glass bricks have been found in the vaults and mausoleums.  Stone still provides the fundamental fabric. This is usually andesite or basalt (created by gate-induced vulcanism) or marble imported from the Elemental Plane of Earth.

Deadly para-elemental and quasi-elemental traps
After a denunciation of fire as passé by certain nobles, use of para- and quasi-elemental matter in traps escalated.  The resulting demand for special traps taxed imaginations. Early traps used super-cold, super-sharp ice.  Later traps drowned thieves in mud, choked victims with smoke or incinerated them in flowing magma.  The last required careful management.  The tombs over Lemizah's Jewel in the Undercanals are slowly sinking into a pool of magma.  Blinding ash clouds burn and choke unauthorised personnel.  Brine pits dessicate air and toughen zombies within.  Exploding geodes, jets of steam and prismatic rays kill.   Lightning traps used deep underground do not invoke the aurora vortex on the surface.  Exact depths are unknown though. Magical duststorms suffocate unlucky thieves and cause others to be lost, half-blind and coughing.

The known world of Carcetus

When all you know is underground the world shifts. Carcetusian communities are close-knit, battling aberrations, oozes, slavers and giant vermin to survive. Light and water are life.  Carcetus is a pragmatic honeycomb of constructed and natural tunnels, taking advantage of changes in geology.  Dwarves take stonecraft further than most.  Magic solves many engineering problems.

Fortification
Life in Carcetus rarely rises from war footing. Tunnels are fortified by bolt-holes, casemates, choke points and redoubts.  Traps are simple but effective.  Entry and exit tunnels are defended to prevent incursion. Water supplies and food stores are strongly defended.

Pervasive aberration influence.
The presence of aberrations shapes the tunnels of Carcetus.  Aboleth construct dams and shallow lakes using slaves.  Ettercap weave orbs of silk and sinew in three dimensions.  Naga congregate around shrines and desolate tunnels.  Otyughs lurk in cesspits and sinkholes.  Some have been adopted by communities.

Remembrance walls & crypts
Remembrance walls are etched with names of the fallen or bas-reliefs of faces scored into the rock.  These are traced by mourners in the dark.  Communities who revere Mordiggian or Saint-George construct simple crypts.  Carcetusians get quite  passionate about remembrance and history - both involve someone dying to reach this point.

Common items between the three worlds.

Travellers between worlds sometimes journey via dungeons.  There are commonalities though none are that safe.  Being among ghouls, travelling via gates or in the wake of a hungry god  is... interesting.

Crypts of Mordiggian and Saint-George
All worlds have crypts consecrated to the faiths of the Great Ghoul or the Pale Warrior.  Ghouls of Mordiggian tunnel for books, lore and food.  Their crypts hold surprises with lost magic and ancient secrets amid the chewed and cracked bones.  The tombs of Saint-George inter dreadful secrets among the bodies of dead warriors.  Both are perilous undertakings for adventurers.

Nidal's Tunnels
The dwarf Nidal knew refugees would come.  During the Demonplague in Altorr, he sought demonic gates and fortresses yet found tunnels linking all three worlds.  With allies in every world, he made great  maps. These maps are priceless, whispered to hold powerful magic and the secrets to great wealth as well.  His disappearance into the Tunnels has led to rumour of his being eaten by The Crawler.

The Crawler
The god of pain and hunger is known to all three worlds.  It's howling, bloodstained journey is heralded by purple worms.  The resulting swathe of destruction is followed by earthquakes and beasts from all the three worlds.  Chaos is left in it's wake.  The Crawler's hide is  studded with blades from hundreds who tried - and failed - to slay it.

3DPBMCSHMtm: the hollow hills

Original image by
WintersKnight@DeviantArt

In this installment of 3DPBMCSHMtm, we head off to Altorr to talk faerie. The 'Fair Folk' play their inscrutable games of state.  Yet the Courts of Light and Shade are honoured by mortal king and commoner alike. Having helped cure the Demonplague they've earned it.  Yet these games have high stakes. They make heroes of ordinary people and paupers rich while breaking others on a wheel of fate and magic.

The Goblin Market

Most people deal with Faerie through the goblin market.  At dawn, the market opens under thickets and in caves.  At dusk, faegoblins grow bold and settle by river banks.  Pipe-music accompanies lilting song promising tempting wares.  Exquisite fruit, fine steeds and nonesuch jewels have lured many a customer into the market. Returning to the world, everything else seems drab. Visitors often begin pining until the market comes again. Some are so profoundly affected by this loss they waste away if denied the market's fruits.

Faegoblins are goblinkin with faerie ancestry.  Brilliant artisans, they are only rapacious in business deals. If a deal is spurned once the market appears, they get downright nasty about it.  Catcalls, threats and mob-handed brawls are known. Drawing steel will cause them to withdraw and seek help.

The Court of Light

To find the Court of Light, look eastward at dawn as fanfare announces the new day.  Then make an offering pleasing to the Court.  It rises from earth or water in stately ceremony.  Courtiers on white horses prance as samite palanquins blossom suddenly. Lords and ladies approach amid reverent hushes.  The Court enjoys hunting, sporting games and music.  The Court's justice is compassionate, if not always fair.

Pharisidhe resemble angular and graceful elves. Violet-eyed, smooth-skinned, of immaculate attire, and complection. Agile and beautiful, their Charisma bonus is added to Armour Class and saving throws.  Cold iron poisons them (save or take 1d4 Constitution damage) and they fear it greatly.  Their singing voices may fascinate the unwary.  When the Court is offended, pharisidhe close ranks.

The Court of Shade

To find the Court of Shade, look westward at dusk as cacaphony heralds the coming night.  Then make an offering pleasing to the Court.  It descends from air or fire amid debauched revel.  Grotesque riders on dark steeds menace as oxblood leather palanquins fall like autumn leaves.  Lords and ladies approach amid fanfare or fierce drumming.  The Court enjoys hunting, combat and debauchery.  The Court's justice is fair, if not always compassionate.

Kernasith also resemble elves, though rawboned and sinewy, as though carved from wood.  They grow spiralling, tined horns each century they live, elder kernasith look like they're wearing crowns.  They prefer immaculate garb yet find durable clothes comforting.  Kernasith always keep a blade handy and are superlative duellists among the fae.  They may move through undergrowth at normal speed and leave no trail, yet plants magics can impede.  Cold iron burns them as if red hot.  Each strike does an additional 1d6 fire damage to kernasith.  When the Court is offended, kernasith fight.

Changelings 

The 'tradition' of exchanging children with mortals is a diplomatic exercise for both of the Courts.  Such fostering is great honour to the fae.  There is a matter of timing of course. The Court of Light often chooses to save children facing certain doom or an evil upbringing.  The Court of Shade takes more indiscriminately and arbitraily.  Over time, the 'unearthly' child will manifest faerie traits.  Ransoming back a child is typical. That said, the Court of Shade won't always use a changeling from it's courtiers for this.  They claim this just adds spice to the game.

Real Like The Others

Other fey make appearances.  Diminutive faeries like atomie, grig, nixie, pixie and sprite make it difficult for easy identification.  While not quite as small, little people (brownies, korred and leprechauns) wield surprising power.  Dryads and quicklings represent intelligent plants as do nymphs.  Satyr and faun sport while stranger fey hide.  The more powerful fey are destructive and best left unless developing savage appetites or apparatus.

Transformation

The transmutation of one thing into another is a cornerstone of magic.  It is also magic faerie excel at.  From shapechanger pelts to fairy rings anchoring 'unplaces' to repairing broken things, magic is practical. Teleportation, telekinesis and magic of the mind are popular as is magic shaping nature or body.  Faeries love to enlarge, shrink, slow, speed or stop.

Glamer, illusion and dreamweaving.

Faerie is glamour, it's said.  Illusion and dream weaving are vital tools for deception, chicanery and misdirections called sways by fae tricksters.  Illusions that beguile are used in both Market and Courts to achieve diverse ends for all.  Disguises and invisibility add to deception.  More potent illusions draw on shadow or twist minds.  It is whispered the Court of Shade keeps illusionists for their entertainment and to teach lessons.

Under the influence

Faerie enchantment is a nuanced affair.  Magic is one tool among many.  By combining gift, magic, persuasion and performance the fae ensnare those they would need or desire.  Performance of any kind will be accepted if good by any fae, giving bards an advantage.  Food and drink are typically used by commoners.  Etiquette and gift are more for the Courts.  The beautiful may trade locks of hair or tears. Giving part of yourself to those knowing magic is a risky proposition often with unintended consequences.

3DPBMCSHMtm: elemental infusions

Elemental Magic by
Randi 'Gheist' Thompson

Continuing the 3DPBMCSHMtm… As an interdimensional nexus, Bellotra suffers from elemental corrosion. This dissipation of matter into magical energies is prompted by a multitude of permanent gates.  Bellotra is fragile and its fabric frays, tainted by para-elemental and quasi-material manifestations.

A lucrative import business… 

This problem is typically mitigated by bringing in new matter from the elemental planes. Spell casters are paid handsomely for this.  While the Ten Thousand Worlds offer material Bellotrans refuse. They fear their world becoming another. Attempts to set decanters of endless water in fountains ended in theft.

The simple way is for people to go to an elemental plane via plane shift, retrieve material and return it.  Janni make easy coin this way.  Genies also create materials for clients.  This is tolerated, as extraplanar influence is undesirable.  Those who pay are usually bored nobles or rare druids.  The resulting material is mixed with native elements to bolster them against elemental corrosion.

More dangerous routes involve opening temporary gates.  This may lead to elemental eruptions, where the element being gated in surges uncontrollably into Bellotra.  Cyclones, wildfires, eruptions and tidal waves are all examples of elemental eruptions that bedevil unwary spellcasters.  Other methods are possible though at the DM's discretion.

By The Chill Sea

The Chill Sea becomes clogged with salt ice floes, some of which blaze with eerie corposante.  The few beaches on the Chill Sea also change.  Some are stained with rust while others develop 'deathbars'.  These piles of pale, greenish yellow minerals mix calcined baryta, nitre and garnierite.  Corrosively toxic, they cause chemical burns and a racking cough on inhalation.  Only the strangest beasts and appropriately clothed survive them.  Alchemists can make fortunes mining a deathbar.  Until shoggoths persuade them to move on. The nickel, alkalines and black powder are worth it.

The Canals & Rotten Burgs

Volcanic mud silts canals and releases brimstone vapours.    The rice fields grow fruitful with this mud so the poor dredge canals with noble assent.  Deadlier hazards like quicksand in the fens around the Rotten Burgs can turn a battle's tide.  Smogs form about the Rotten Burgs and noble towers.  Lifelong residents boast racking coughs.   These fade after a month of exposure to clean air and return after a month in the Burgs.

The Far Spires  

The mountains of the Far Spires contain active volcanoes, some sages believe their activity is increasing. Ghouls who explore the glass and steel spires for knowledge claim the volcanoes have damaged them. What strangeness lays within them?

Strange weather we're having… 

Roll d10 when adding flavour for the day.  All temperature variations are in Fahrenheit.

1. Ash clouds darken sky, outside illumination and low-light vision is halved for 2d6 hours.  Creatures visually affected by sunlight are not affected during this time.  Any rain during this time leaves ashen patina.  
2. Chill blue-grey mist hangs in air.  Temperature drops by  10 degrees.  Visibility limited to 300' in open ground or shoreline.  Lasts 3d6 hours unless dispersed by wind.
3. Dust storm blows through for 2d6 hours.  Visibility is reduced to 10', Listen and Spot checks take -4 penalty as do ranged attacks.  Unless protective masks, magics or other countermeasures are taken 1 in 6 chance of blinding for 1d6 rounds and taking 1d3 subdual damage each round. 
4. Freezing fog reduces visibility to five feet.  Those beyond 5' are concealed from sight (this also includes  infravision).  Exposed structures gain hoar frost. Lasts for 3d6 hours, dispersed by wind or large fires.
5. Hail storm rattles the area for 1d6 minutes.  1 in 6 chance of 1 damage to unprotected characters per round from large hailstones.  1 in 6 chance of rain following for 1d4 hours.
6. Haze fills humid air, tinting everything sepia.  Light and visibility is halved yet infravision is unaffected.  Temperature increases by 10 degrees.  Those not wearing protective masks take 1d4 subdual damage every hour.  Lasts 2d6 hours unless dispersed by wind.
7. Orange ball lightning of 1d8+8 inch diameter. Lasts 1d8 rounds, moves 3d6 feet in random direction each round and  1 in 6 chance of arcing to a character for 1d8+1 damage. Finds metal-clad characters attractive, vanishes silently afterwards.
8. Sleet storm reduces visibility and ground movement by half.  50% chance of extinguishing lanterns (75% chance for open flames).  Imposes a -4 to ranged attacks, Spot and Listen checks.  Lasts for 2d20 minutes.
9. Smog cloud blown by ill-favoured winds lasts for 1d4 hours.  Illumination is halved and visibility (including infravision or low-light vision) is reduced to 5'.  Those beyond 5' are concealed from sight.  Those caught in the cloud must save vs. poison each round or take 1d3 subdual damage. Protective masks can prevent this damage.
10. Violet corposante (St. Elmo's Fire) forms on pointed structures, providing candle-light illumination for those structures.  Lasts for 6d6 minutes then dissipates unless subjected to sudden moisture.

Beware the aurora vortex!

Deadliest of all manifestations is the aurora vortex.  Green and blue aurorae usually light Bellotran night skies. A crimson spot in the aurora presages a pillar of vacumn touching the ground like Death's finger.  This forms an cylinder in which the living are chilled and suffocated for a round.  Then air, smoke and dust howl into the void with explosive force, rending all but metal.  As likely as a lightning strike, they are drawn to significant electrical discharges.

Game effects of the aurora vortex

After lightning storms or more than 12 dice of electrical damage in one round, the aurora above the area turns red. The wise move quickly away.  The next round, a cylinder of vacumn 1d20+20' diameter appears from the heavens.

Those within the vacumn face a save vs. death to avoid  5d10 damage from lung collapse.  If successful 1d6 subdual damage is taken.  Those without lungs or gills are unaffected.  The intense chill causes 2d4 cold damage and freezes water in the area.  The area is silenced and all flames are extinguished.  Speech is impossible, spells with verbal components and all sound-based effects fail.

The next round, air and dust explosively fill the void from all directions at once.  The winds are tornado strength, doing 6d6 damage to the unprotected and hurling them 3d6 feet in a random direction.  Giant-sized creatures are knocked prone.  Attempts at Listen checks fail.  Buildings and other structures take damage.

3DPBMCSHMtm: death & undeath

The three worlds of the 3DPBMCSHMtm have different attitudes to death and undeath.  Faith, otherworldly power and fell deeds help shape what rests and what rises again.

…to die in Altorr

Cremation is the norm.  Some druids or faiths (e.g. Fareus) prefer to elevate the dead upon trees or platforms.  Carrion birds will pick apart the body in short order.  Grave goods are shared among surviving kin.  Burial is the province of the wealthy or certain faiths (e.g. Saint-George, Mordiggian).  Barrow-mounds are typical for great warriors or kings. Steeped in death and evil, the buried attract anti-life energies which settle in their bones or the shadow of their remains.

Undeath in Altorr

Opportunities for necromancy are limited unless you're willing to obtain still-cooling cadavers for your research.  Altorran necromancers have a hint of maddened butcher about them, making them easier to spot socially.  Of the mindless undead, many owners keep close by.  This propietary attitude gives them an undeserved mystique.

Ghouls are usually interred in Mordiggian crypts with occasional forays into charnel pits.  Feral ghouls roam graveyards and urban areas, looking to feast.  Mordiggian ghouls foray via tunnels to crypts, libraries and stockyards.  During the Demonplague, entire villages were buried alive in mass graves to rise as feral ghouls. This mocked the rites of Mordiggian.  It also provided shock troops for the demons and their ghasts to control.  Ghasts are corrupted by Abyssal and anti-life energies as well as cannibalism.  These deadly foes of Mordiggian lead feral ghouls in attacks against the Great Ghoul's followers.  Followers of Mordiggian will prioritise the slaying of a ghast above most non-worship activities.

Wights, wraiths and spectres are the result of anti-life energies binding to hearts and souls tainted by evil. Evil warriors interred with nobles arise as barrow-wights.  More powerful undead occur with more death and destruction or more heinous murders inflicted in life.  Mohrgs are feared, all were once serial killers with at least ten kills.  Ghosts are infrequent yet the desperate often become

Vampires are made by demonic pact.  As such, vampire spawn are usually expendable shock troops and seldom win free of their powerful masters.  There are noteworthy exceptions of course.  Druids and bards take reports of vampirism very seriously.  If a master vampire is reported, demons are usually coming.
Liches are unknown in Altorr.  The Parliament of Roses will not suffer any lich and will mobilise to destroy them utterly.  'When the woods walk' is an Altorran proverb for when a situation is sufficiently dire.

…to die in Bellotra

Here, burial is the norm.  At least one city is supported by corpses too-tightly packed to be animated. Corpse-wagons pick through streets ruled by certain nobles, pressing dead flesh into their eternal servitude. Most commoners  die close to home, buying plots in familial or temple crypts.  Nobles take this further by constructing elaborate mausoleums for families and monuments to distant ancestors.  Grave goods are sometimes shared between kin, temples and guilds.  Wills arbitrated by lawful entities complicate this further.

Undeath in Bellotra

Mindless undead are uncommon but known.  Tarred zombies work capstans and winches at the canals while painted skeletons bear glutton mages in sedan chairs. The wheels of Bellotran industry turn by dead hands. Ghouls frequent Mordiggian crypts and libraries, the new-risen aren't great conversationalists but their elders are fascinating.  At least one sage consults ghouls regularly.

Shadows indicate the presence of shadow demons, shadowdancers and other tenebrous troublemakers who would remain obscure.  Forslas priests sent to disperse them leave consecrated shrines with daylight spells in their wake. The evil-hearted are exposed to extraplanar and antilife energies in Bellotra resulting in more undead.  Wraiths and spectres reveal great evil.  Yet ghosts cause the greatest unrest, each is a mystery. Bellotrans love mysteries, there is no shortage of ghost quellers selling services of varying merit.  .

Mummification either by tar pit or alchemical means preserves something of the family for future generations. Some direct mercantile families from their mausoleum.  Others protect their descendents more actively.
Vampirism is an occasional risk with at least one nest trapped by canals by cunning nobles.  Many Bellotran vampires skirt insanity through congress with demons and other entities.  Lichdom is a dark temptation for spell casters, enslaved genies or demons offer wishes.  It is whispered Darkcloak leaders know at least one rite for lichdom.

…to die in Carcetus

As the spirit is called home, morticians harvest the body for bone, sinew, tallow, vellum and spell component. The rest is mulched for fungus farms.  Goods are shared out among surviving kin or peers. Burial is exclusive to Mordiggian and Saint-George.  In spite (or because) of this attitude to the dead, life is cherished the more. Walls etched with names of the dead are common memorials in Carcetus tunnels where many travel.

Undeath in Carcetus

Mindless undead are slightly less prevalent but necromancy is a known quantity.  Tireless labour is valued in the depths.  Ghouls dwell in Mordiggian necropoli.  Extensive libraries, meditation chambers and feast-halls make them gruesome yet educational places to visit.  Ghasts prey on the necropoli, allying with aberrations.
Shadows are feared and hated.  Their insidious nature, loss of self and replacement of flesh with shadow-stuff makes them inimical enemies.  Priests and enchanted weapons are at a premium with priests of Foslas leading in the battle. Ghosts, phantoms and poltergeists are commonplace here.  Unlike Bellotra, anyone claiming to quell ghosts is capable.  The ghost queller is one part exorcist, one part rogue and one part detective.  They believe in research and sharing information.  Even so, ghost quellers often die prematurely.  .

Wights are depressingly prevalent in Carcetus, as killing is often required for survival and many have some skill in battle.  Wraiths are less prevalent than expected.  Spectres are rare, though the slaver races seem blessed with an abundance of them.  The drow are also known for their banshees.  Vampires in Carcetus are known for their endless hunger.  Where food is sparse, they are deadly. Nests of spawn are hunted and eradicated by the living out of fear of bloody annihilation.  Master vampires keep hidden and infiltrate smaller communities.  Here they feast relatively undisturbed.

Liches exist in Carcetus, deep below.  It's said the lost city of Sepuldam contains mausoleums in which liches dwell in fell seclusion.  Yet those who dare return accursed or bodak-haunted.  While it's said Darkcloaks know a rite for lichdom, most believe this stops them accumulating greater power.

3DPBMCSHMtm: 20 questions about Bellotra

Another layer of the 3DPBMCSHMtm, this time Bellotra, decaying nexus of magic and decadence.

1. What is the deal with my cleric's religion?In Bellotra, faith decays as magic and science take root. The following faiths may be found:
   Ama'theya - All-Mother, healer, oracle, bringer of catastrophic change.
   Extur of the Bloody Hands - teacher of violence and patron to goblinoids.
   Forslas of the Blinding Light - stern patron of law and knowledge.
   Mordiggian - Great Ghoul, dark corona-god and patron of ghouls and necropoli.
   Seyvyes - the Serpent Divided, trickster and patron of civilisation and sailors.
   Saint-George - the pale knight who watches over warriors, wanderers, herdsfolk and the diseased.
   Thasaidon - Lord of seven hells, crusher of flesh and will, sun of the Underworld.
   The Crawler - god of pain and hunger, placated with offerings lest it curses or consumes you.
   Verlore - petty god of the lost and forgotten, invoked when all else has failed.
2. Where can we go to buy standard equipment?There are bazaars where one may buy everyday items from the genies and their thralls, from the Dead or envoys of the Ten Thousand Worlds.
3. Where can we go to get platemail custom fitted for this monster I just befriended?The envoys of the City of Brass, the armourers of Dis or the dwarves of Celestia forge such things. Most nobles are less concerned about their playthings.
4. Who is the mightiest wizard in Bellotra?
   Byram al-Marja yet many vie for that title, including those from the Ten Thousand Worlds.  Proud like a wizard is a Bellotran insult.
5. Who is the greatest warrior in the land?
   The Devil-In-Iron has slain all comers, though it is unjust to call that machine a warrior.
6. Who is the richest person in the land?
   Saphedamauta, the Pallid Maharajah, whose ringed talons dabble in vice, slaves and esoteric lore with equal capability.  A formidable magician and rakshasa, he prefers living like a sybaritic king to striving for arcane mastery.  Who can blame him hmm?
7. Where can we go to get some magical healing?
   The temples are the first choice.  Yet alchemist and scrivener offer healing at reasonable rates. Envoys of the celestial worlds may help if you are desperate.
8. Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions:
   poison - The temples of Ama'Theya and Seyvyes are particularly effective.
   disease - The paladins of Saint-George have sworn to eradicate disease from Bellotra.
   curse - Any skilled spellseller can remove such with sufficient effort and preparation.
   level drain - Ama'Theya, Extur and Forslas may help.  Mordiggian and Saint-George will refuse.
   lycanthropy - Though some prefer Saint-George, I always send the moon-blooded to Ama'Theya.
   polymorph - Any competent spellseller can remove such with sufficient effort and preparation.
   alignment change - The temples may offer penance through atonement.
   death - Ama'Theya, Forslas and Thasaidon offer resurrection. Mordiggian and Saint-George refuse.
   undeath - The temples of Ama'Theya, Forslas and Seyvyes will help.  Mordiggian destroys unwilling undead in his temples.  Saint-George will seek to inter the undead if they cannot be destroyed.
9. Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join in order to get more spells?
   There are several magic guilds!  Those of particular note include:
   Conjurers summon otherworldly creatures to fulfil desires or patch the decaying world.  Ostentation and power go hand-in-hand with them.
   Darkcloaks trade in malicious magics.  They also fall prey to powerful magicians and outsiders who snare them with promises of power.  Other guilds see them as dangerous, immature amateurs.
   Glutton-mages wield potent necromancy but grow corpulently fat and move as if always carrying a medium load.  They may have undead servants and some seek lichdom.
   Phantasmists weave terrible illusions and can bestow nightmarish visions by touch.  The powerful ones are surrounded by eerie phantoms.  They are given a wide berth by the fearful.
10. Where can I find an alchemist, sage or other expert NPC?
    Alchemists can be found in gable-house garrets in the Rotten Burgs making their fortunes or peddling wares in the street.  Sages usually haunt a library or noble's tower.  Other experts are found in various parts of the Rotten Burgs or in the hire of a patron.
11. Where can I hire mercenaries?
    The Rotten Burgs are home to several mercenary groups (some human, others not) who fight wars between The Ten Thousand Worlds.
12. Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?The nobles apply their own laws.  Lady Ghanila is famed for imprisoning armed travellers.  Lord Ratirri confiscates spellbooks if owners refuse to either swear an oath of loyalty or leave his domain in a week.  Other nobles are less hostile but no less predictable.
13. Which way to the nearest tavern?Taverns are popular in the Rotten Burgs and even around noble towers, a hostelry serves cheer. Travellers enjoy Madame Zsa's hospitality or the ale at the Unicorn's Horn'd.
14. What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?Hydra, harpies, tigers and will-o-wisps have hunted the canals since time immemorial. Morlocks and packs of cranial rats raid the Rotten Burgs for slaves.  Shoggoths of the Chill Sea terrorise anything they like. Cheer up, there is always something to kill!
15. Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?
    There are so many wars.  Efreeti campaigns of conquest, crusades by knights of Saint-George, infernal pogroms, even feuds between nations too!  All pay for soldiers, some even come back!
16. How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?
    The Coliseum opens daily and gladiators from ten thousand worlds compete.  Convicts are summarily dealt with there.  Money can easily be made by the skilful.  You are skilful, of course?
17. Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?
    As many as guilds of magicians and temples and more.
    Akasheeya are aasimar extremists who take the fight to evil institutions.  These actions may appear unjust yet are always justified. Beautiful, wise and tireless enemies of devil, daemon and demon.
    Jahat are a circus of tiefling rogues and sorcerors.  Motivated by selfish goals, they are sometimes pawns in fiendish games.  They live a hand-to-mouth existence in the Rotten Burgs and Spires.
    The Kallesh are a mafia of wererats with a history of betrayal and grisly ways to make an example of someone.  They own parts of the Rotten Burgs and infest the canal docks.  No Kallesh ever turned informer, even to magical inquisition.
18. What is there to eat around here?
    Plenty!  From the blood sausage and pickles beloved of beggars to the exotic feasts of artisans and nobles seeking recognition.  Curried meats with delicate flavours and the fruit and spices of ten thousand worlds can be found at bazaar.  Strangely-shaped bread (birds, animals and hands are popular) are baked to delight customers.
19. Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?
    So many to choose from… the canals hide sunken payboats for countless schemes.  Fallen noble towers hold wealth and death traps. The Rotten Burgs have hoards hidden by dead mercenaries and Chill Sea or planar pirates.
20. Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?
    The captain of the Unforeseen said that there are dragons in the earth.  An odd way to sell passage to Carcetus but still… if you want fantastic riches, I hear the shantak-nests hold numerous baubles from their petitioners.

inns & taverns: the honey pot

The Honey Pot is famed for it's mead.  As both inn and apiary, it excels.  Those skittish around bees are warned away.  Stories of bees attacking rowdies help keep troublemakers out.  That said, there are few inns as good (or as well-loved) as this one.

The Honey Pot is a hexagonal tower of grey stone, three floors high and forty feet across.  It's roof is lead-clad oak.  Visible from outside town, it sits conspicuously on a hill surrounded by halfling cottages and orchards.  Green-stained flowerboxes hang from shuttered windows, giving much needed colour in summertime.  Ceramic latticed bricks vent air and occasional bees.  The front doors are carved in interlocking hexagons and stained golden-brown to look like honeycomb.  A sign of amber glass and iron declares wealth.

Entering by the front door reveals a trapezoidal lounge with a low-set bar against the long wall and ascending stair on the far wall.  The low tables each have a jug with a beeswax candle.  The ceramic grills let in sunlight and air.  Halflings find the place just perfect.  Taller races and the naturally clumsy find it tricky to maneouver at first.  To the right, the traveller in need can find a triangular privy.  Beyond the lounge is a diamond-shaped kitchen kept immaculate by the chefs and the maid.  Upstairs, the building is divided into a narrow external corridor with six triangular rooms in which Firya and the staff dwell.  These are windowless yet heavily decorated.  Stairs lead up from Firya's and Kaldo's quarters into the top floor.  Here are six active beehives and numerous jars and boxes for gathering comb, honey, wax and other goods.  Beneath the bar, the cellar is well-kept though better suited to halflings than humans.  The stone walls and earthen floors are lit by lamps of beeswax and piled high with stock.  Sacks on the wall hold batches of short mead ready for production.

Patrons enjoy a selection of drinks.  Three kinds of mead are served.  Strawhead, an effervescent short mead is pale, quaffable and served in half-pint tankards at 5 copper a time. Hivegold, a potent wine-like sack mead is served in goblets and priced at 2 silver.  Rosegold is a tart dark rhodomel made with rosewater, elderberry and apple, served in clay tumblers for 2 copper a time.  A floral metheglin made with camomile and meadowsweet is sometimes sold in the same measure for the same price.  Unrepentent beer drinkers are delighted to find a dark, creamy walnut ale for two copper a half-pint.

For food, the poor may enjoy oatcakes and baked turnips along with a measure of watered Strawhead for 2 copper.  Most patrons indulge in a bread pudding which hold pork pieces marinaded in honey and cider vinegar.  For good friends, Firya or Kaldo may instruct the chefs to go to town on honey-roasted suckling pig with baked turnips and candied apples.

There are no rooms at the Honey Pot.  Firya may invite adventurers to sleep in the lounge for some daring tale or new song.  She misses her old life.  Kaldo is no sufferer of fools or scroungers. "Only for a night friends." is what he says as the cooks simultaneously begin dicing pork with cleavers at the hearth.

The landlady, Firya stands tall for a human.  Flaxen hair shot with silver falls behind her shoulders.  Her dark wooden kirtle reeks of smoke, hiding warrior's scars and paired daggers.  Steel-eyed, she takes assured, unhurried steps.  Her contralto voice purrs threats or pierces the hubbub.   Distinctive among the usual mix of halfling and human labourers and goodwives, she led armies to victory in another life.

Her staff are seven halflings.  Kaldo, their manager, is dapper in dark curls, hooded eyes and oxblood waistcoat. His courtly manners and grace makes ladies swoon.  Jirgo and Ferdo, twin exuberantly ginger cooks make a show of preparation and delicious food.  Magda and Yulisa, immaculate barmaids tend bar first and gossip second.  Their deductive skills put secretive types on edge.  Chenna, the maid is flirty, feisty and flint-hearted.  If the city calls, she'll make a find assassin.  Treyo, the grizzled gardener tends herbs and bakes loaves shaped like tortoises or ducks.  His gruff exterior hides an angelic smile and skill with knives.

• Cloaked and cowled strangers visit, reeking of smoke.  The bees ignore the formians at first but grow increasingly agitated.  They have a business deal that Firya won't like but Kaldo might.
• Firya has made powerful enemies.  They hired a fire-breathing wizard to kill her.  Fortunately he is an overconfident braggart.  Unfortunately he is likely to succeed unless taken down swiftly.

unlikely treasures 2: still more loot for the taking

Roll d12 for the loot!

1. Dragonhide breastplate of green scales to fit a human (700gp).
   Weighs 30lbs. (+6AC; -3AC penalty, spell failure 25%).
   Non-metallic so can be worn by druids.
2. Mithril short sword with carved darkwood hilt (600gp).
   Weighs 1lb. Masterwork-quality weapon.  Carved hilt is patterned in minature dragonscales to provide excellent grip.
3. Composite longbow decorated with fluted ivory panels (550gp).
   Weighs 3lb. This bow grants up to +4 damage bonus if used by someone with appropriate Strength.
   If used by someone with less than 18 Strength, it grants a -2 penalty to hit.
4. Braided wig of golden hair with golden strands (500gp). 
   Weighs 4lb.  Extends two feet and includes golden wire braided into tight plaits among elven hair. Would fit a dwarf.
5. Engraved gold and darkwood sword cane (500gp).
   Weighs 4lb. Gold-plated, masterwork quality. Cane is elaborately carved darkwood.  Treat as shortsword for damage.  Difficult to spot as weapon.
6. Holy symbol of platinum (500gp).
   Weighs 1lb. Simple emblem, functions as a normal consecrated holy symbol. 
7. Jade circlet (500gp).
   Weighs 2lb. Green jade inscribed with runes for magic, power and transformation.  Suitable for a child or elven female.
8. Owlbear coat with silver fox trim and silver knotwork buttons (500gp).
   Weighs 4lbs. Six silver buttons (worth 10gp each). Feathers hang over shoulders, cut for a short and stout human or very tall dwarf male, suitable for nobility.
9. Prayer beads made of black gems with white asterisms and striations (500gp).
   Weighs 5lbs.  String of 49 prayer beads made of snowflake obsidian (10gp for each bead) on black spider-silk thread (1gp) . Useful for atonement spells. 
10. Vellum scroll in ivory scroll tube (500gp).
    Weighs 1lb.  This is a 500gp credit note for purchase of slaves from an established slaver cartel.
11. Wooden casket containing 9 incense sticks & vellum packet of iridescent powder (450gp).
    Weighs 3lbs.  Casket weighs 2lbs and worth 50gp empty. Incense sticks (sandalwood) worth 1gp each. Vellum packet contains 400gp of diamond dust. 
12. Oversized engraved silver holy symbol (400gp).
    Weighs 4lbs.  Functions as a normal consecrated holy symbol.  Contains a compartment holding three doses of exotic perfume (100gp per dose).

city of justice

Pic from zeldawiki.org

This time, it's a look at life in a town where a paladin holds true.  The paladin is a natural civic leader. Charisma through the roof, divine favour and their code of conduct inspires trust and respect from citizens. Soldiers of faith rarely retire and those who settle down are planning for long-term campaigns. Whether a light in the dark or jewel in a crown, the paladin's city keeps vigilant.  Evil never sleeps after all.

Paladin towns are militarised by default.  They are usually targeted by evil so will build defences in response to potential attack.  Even passive religions know the virtue of defensive construction.  As with clerical towns, the temple is the hub.  Given the paladin's force of personality, civic functions and spiritual needs are consolidated with less risk. Clerics of the same faith may provide ancilliary aid and run temples. Paladins will minister if clerics are in short supply. Most paladins however are more champions than shepherds.

The citizens of a paladin's city may fall into two broad camps.  Those helping the paladin rule may range from fellow knights to the city watch to civic officials.  The laws of this city are just and this often requires additional administration.  Those who are ruled tend to need regular help.  This drives the paladin and his court to build for the long-term to save them.  Orphanages with workhouses, courts for settling disputes, prisons to confine criminals and hospitals for the sick all feature.  Everything has a place in this city.

The city will prosecute against evil by all just means.  This doesn't just mean dawn raids of dens of vice and iniquity, fun as they are.  Other options include:

• taxation of vices and iniquitous paraphernalia.
• prohibition of poisons and chaotic or evil items.
• seizure and re-purpose of assets used for anarchy and evil.  Recompense may be offered for the former if well-intentioned, never for the latter.
• driving off or exiling habitual criminals should punishment fail to correct their behaviour.

Paladin spell access is somewhat limited compared to other spell casters.  This is compensated by their gamut of special abilities.

• Detect evil means NPCs have difficulty infiltrating if they have an aura of evil without magic.
• Laying of hands and other mercies give more skilled paladins options as a healer.  Paladins can work amid  plague victims with impunity.  The smart hospitallers set up quarantine areas.
• Turn undead means the city has fewer necromantic problems.

That said, the spell selection can produce a few surprises.

• Agriculture - Create water may allow a orphanage garden to flourish.
• Arbitration - Known for their fairness and justice, the paladin can arbitrate disputes through judicious use of detect spells and sense motive.
• Healing - Combining cure wounds and lesser restoration with lay on hands makes healing accessible to the just or the needy.  At higher levels, various remove spells and delay poison in addition to removing disease may enable a dedicated paladin to save lives.

The paladin's city may not appeal to the licentious murderhobo.  Those traumatised by urban horrors may find it different.  That said, Camelot wasn't exactly a boring place to be.

assorted dungeon locks

Not all locks are created equal.  Some of them are positively odd.

1. Axehead-shaped steel lock of good quality dwarven manufacture. Keyhole where haft would go and intricate wards make it difficult (-10%/-2) to pick.  Worth 150gp to dwarves, 135gp elsewhere. 
2. Crescent moon-shaped superior lock of silver-plated iron. Fiendishly difficult (-10%/-2) to pick due to curved positioning of tumblers.  Worth 250gp to the right people.
3. Dusty copper average lock enchanted to give electrical shock (2d8 damage, save 1/2s) to anyone touching with conductive metal (like most thieves tools) or bare flesh.  Faint, tell-tale hum warns the observant.  Worth 500gp to someone non-conductive.
4. Gorgon-faced average lock weeping red waxy fluid from eyes and keyhole.  This waxy fluid is contact poison, causing a loss of 1d6 Dexterity for 2d6 turns (save for half effect and duration).  The residue loses potency after 1d4 rounds  but the discolouration remains unless washed in wine.  Worth 40gp as the weeping wax is a curse.
5. Knotwork-engraved gold-plated steel lock of good quality and elven manufacture.  Worth 240gp.
6. Mermaid-shaped simple lock of brass and tin, average quality, keyhole where navel is.  Worth 20gp.
7. Ordinary lock of brass and iron, average quality.  Worth 40gp.
8. Quartz lock of good quality.  Immune to rusting effects, difficult (-10%/-2) to pick due to stiff crystalline tumblers.  Worth 630gp. 
9. Sea lock of blue steel will only admit a key when the tide is out, pushing the key out of keyhole at all other times.  Magic can be used to unlock as normal.  Superior quality, worth 1000gp to right people.
10. Umbral lock of lead and iron - only be opened by magic or the shadow of the correct key inserted into the keyhole.  Skeleton keys have a 20% of working if their shadow is inserted into the keyhole.
    Worth 200gp as a novelty.
11. Wolfshead-shaped simple lock of pewter and iron, keyhole hidden underneath plate on which wolfshead is mounted.  Worth 20gp.   
12. Yellow-golden (actually iron pyrite) average lock shaped to resemble a smiling actor's mask.
    Keyhole in right eye.  If left eye keyhole used, a magic mouth activates "Oh dear. You never go left." then commences raucous laughter that provokes a wandering monster check.  Works once only, worth 100gp.

inns & taverns: the three fort knights inn

The Three Fort Knights Inn births rumours.  Tales of the three brother-knights, hellish hounds and kindly djinn grow in the telling.  It's position as a hill top forces municipal stable use.  Inconvenience discourages casual travellers from closer investigation.  The nearby slum is not salubrious.  The knights are dead yet the howls and keening winds at night-time say the tale continues.  For all these hardships, the inn prospers.

The dusty approach road to the inn is jostling with angular slum-houses, all gables and gantries.  They draw back a little from the inn.  The inn is a white stone roundhouse with circular doors and shuttered green-stained porthole windows.  Beneath these stand pots of flourishing spearmint.  The roof is tiled in spiraling slates with two chimneys to the east and west.  The walls are half-sunk into the hilltop.  A blue banner showing three white stars over a white fort serves as the inn's sign.

Inside the rooms resemble an over-sized halfling's burrow.  An eclectic collection of seating in every elliptical nook allow nearly a hundred to sit nearby.  A gentle slope descends from the front door to a north-facing oval lounge served by served by circular bar.  The oval extends east and west with a circular hearth at each corner.  Four benches seating eight each extend like wheel spokes from the hearths.  The whole effect resembles a gigantic eye.

There are four exits in the north and south walls.  Each is hung with bead and bell curtains.  The noise from these discourages eavesdropping and they reveal anything passing through.  This simple precaution has prevented all manner of problems.  The northern exits lead outwards to oval rooms.  Furthest north-east is a bustling kitchen.  The nearest northeast and northwest rooms are simple lounges sharing access to a spiral staircase leading down into the common room.  The far northwest opens into a magically-lit communal washroom with alcoves for eight privies.  Flourishing potted lavender and rosemary bushes keep the smell tolerable.

The southern exits also lead outwards to oval rooms.  The far southeastern room is a lounge for private meetings.  The near southeastern room is a lounge for the staff with stairs leading to basic rooms for Yusuf and Califea.  The southwestern room is a lobby with a spiral stair to the guest rooms. The far southwestern room is warm and spacious, Yusuf keeps a double-mash brewery running here.  Barrels are lowered by pulley via a hatch into the cellar.

The bottom level comprises three areas, isolated from each other.  The northernmost is a common room capable of holding twelve in comfort.  The central chamber is the cellar, kept near-perfectly by Yusuf and his staff.  A hatch in the south-east links to the brewery.  The last area is a small hallway with six curved doors. Each leads to a well-appointed guestroom.  All have circular feather beds with quilts, cushions and covered chamberpots.

A free house, regulars sup from long, cylindrical pot tankards called 'towers'.  A strong amber ale spiced with rosemary is sold for 4 copper, while a paler, small beer spiced with lavender is sold for 2 copper.  A local red wine, rough and phenolic is bought by hardened drinkers and connoisseurs of dubious merit.  The hearths produce delicious chambered pies, half cooked lamb, half rose hip and mint jelly for five silver. Circular pancakes cook on flatirons for two copper each.  Califea enjoys making stacks of pancakes. Porridge is also sold for two copper.

A common room berth costs 3 silver a night.  Popular after sunset as howling dogs and wind vie outside and people wax drunken and lazy.  The guestrooms are 3 gold a night and may be the best sleep in the city.  All accommodation is sufficiently underground the howls outside are unheard.

Yusuf is an odd yet genial landlord. Gaunt, pallid, perpetually windswept, he strides purposefully as he serves, his eyes contemplating three moves ahead. He knows magic yet he excels in brewing and knowledge of his djinn and noble ancestors.

Califea, cook and barmaid, loves the Inn.  Her boyish face and good singing voice charm guests yet her crude humour shocks prudes.  She prefers women, finding men diffident  lovers.  Would-be rakes find emasculating insults and her knives deterrent against groping hands.

Old Shamshir, the potboy is a grizzled, scarred veteran  whose eyes glow weirdly in lamp-light.  Drinking on duty is normal for him.  Clad in faded and patched cassock and trews, his dishevelled features are capped by a box hat.  He keeps a curved knife in case.

The other staff are casual barmaids from the slums or labourers working their way back east.  Quite a few barmaids dance for a living, practicing their art to keep the drinks flowing steadily.  A few supplement their trade by pickpocketing drunks.  Yusuf and Old Shamshir are fiercely protective of their people.  Violence is not tolerated with the notable exception of Califea dealing with unwanted attention from drunkards.

• Yusuf will sometimes consult sages.  Sometimes they give him good advice.  Sometimes he will take extra precautions against invisible intruders.  
• Old Shamshir loves hashish pollen.  When ships bring it to town, he books a guest room and proceeds to party for about two weeks.  Meanwhile Yusuf needs a potboy and charmingly brutal doorman... 
• Word of the inn reaches a mystic order.  They are aware of the hounds, seeking seek to avoid the brother-knights' doom.  Their interest in the inn is purely strategic.  The curious will find them unsavoury indeed.

unlikely treasures 2: yet even more loot for the taking

Roll d12 for the loot!

1. Bastard sword with silver wire-wrapped hilt (350gp).
   Weighs 8 lbs.  Masterwork quality (+1 non-magical to hit) steel, suitable for enchanting as a magical weapon. Silver wire on hilt is worth 15gp.
2. Scroll in wooden scroll tube (300gp).
   Weighs 1 lb. This is a credit note to a reputable horse trader for one combat-trained heavy warhorse sealed by local nobility to be provided to the bearer.
3. Torc of wrought gold tipped with green gems (275gp).
   Weighs 2 lb. Gems are peridots (50gp each). Torc worth 125gp if gems removed.  Suitable for nobility of either sex. 
4. Alabaster casket with 20 balls of resin (250gp).
   Weighs 5 lbs. Casket weighs 3 lb and is worth 50gp empty.  Resin is exotic incense (each ball weighs 0.1 lbs, burns for 1 hour, worth 10gp). 
5. Minature greatsword letter-opener (250gp).
   Weighs 1/2 lb.  Made of platinum.  Suitable as spell focus for mage's sword spell. 
6. Ornate silver armband with black gem (250gp).
   Weighs 2lbs.  Gem is jet (100gp value).  Armband worth 100gp if gem removed. 
7. Repeating light crossbow (250gp).
   Weighs 6lbs. Magazine holds 5 bolts.  Can be fired one-handed.  Requires 2 hands to reload or to replace magazine.
8. Suit of dwarf-sized banded mail (250gp).
   Weighs 35lbs. +7AC; Armour penalty -6. Spell failure 35%.  Kept in immaculate condition.
9. Tiger-skin robe (250gp).
   Weighs 4lbs. Cut to fit a tall human female.  Suitable for court or nobility.  Will upset weretigers and those with tiger totems somewhat.
10. Two folios bound in red scaled hide (250gp).
    Weighs 14lbs. These are diplomatic letters and notes bound in dyed snakeskin. Each weighs 7 lbs and mirrors the other in terms of content.  If consulted for 1d4 hours prior, the reader may do one of the following.
• Create a letter of introduction which gives +2 to any reaction check with local officials or nobility.
• Gain a +2 to any Knowledge (nobility) check using the detailed histories of local noble families.
• Create a coded message (which takes 10 times as long) that imposes a -10 penalty to anyone trying to decode the message without either book.
11. Suit of elf-sized ornate golden armour (225gp). Weighs 20lb. Masterwork gold-plated steel parade armour (+3AC; no armour penalty, 15% spell failure). Consists of plated epaulets and lightweight mail hauberk over chest only.
12. Ornate silver chalice decorated with holy symbols. (200gp).
    Weighs 2 lbs.  This chalice is used to sanctify liquids poured into it and can hold up to a pint of fluid.

city red in tooth and claw

Another spell casting class, another city.  This time it's the druid's turn. Druids are traditionally associated with wilderness.  Nature peeks through the city's cracks, infrastructure provides different niches among the human hive.  Here druids are not Princess Mononoke but more subtle.  Druids are of course, quality material for city leaders.  Take the wisdom of a cleric, wed it to natural charisma and a reputation for impartiality. Add in a versatile spell list, wild empathy, the ability to change shape.  The druid may need to sojourn from time to time but this may be a ruse.

The druid's city has tended gardens and green spaces.  Parks and groves appear amid buildings.  Trees are a regular feature.  Wonders like the Hanging Gardens of Babylon are possible without aquaducts using create water.  Pigeons may roost in building eaves.  Bats haunt  high towers.  Cities may also use caves like Derinyuku or Nottingham. The rich and powerful in druidic cities prosper.  They are rewarded for careful stewardship of nature's bounty and given just punishment when they over-reach.  Yet the druid is aloof from courtly antics sometimes working in secret or watching in animal form.  Yet when the spotlight is required, druids take it with considerable force and almost no mercy.  Druids may cultivate links with horse-riders. They often have money and some rudimentary understanding of how to live and work with animals.

Druidic diplomacy is an interesting field.  Animals and plants can spy for a druid.  Here the wild shape ability comes into it's own.  Scrying is an available option.  The secret druidic language is another aspect, here rogues, magic or another druid are your only defence.  Druidic ties to elementals and fey provide additional options.  The vengeful druid burning civilisation is a cliche.  Druids are more surgical in it's use.  Druids also use contagion to thin over-populated areas.  Bizarre animal attacks without reason may lead to stories rivalling the Rue Morgue or The Beast of Gevaudan.  Summon Nature's Ally may mean you wake up to more than a horse's head in the morning.

Even if such high-profile risks are not for you, the druid may have a profession with options.  Brewer, cook, gardener, farmer, fisherman, herbalist, midwife, shepherd, stable master and trapper are obvious choices for the druid.  A professional druid is never poor.  Their trade is useful camouflage in the city.  Even the impoverished druid has advantages most beggars do not if they find time to rest.  Here poverty provides a different camouflage.  A beggar's court of druids is intriguing.

The following may feature in cities tended by a druid.

• Agriculture is a very good reason for druids to walk a city's gardens.  Spells like create water, charm animal, guidance, plant growth, repel vermin and baleful polymorph make life simpler.  Animals are well-kept of course and of course, awakened plants.
• Construction will allow for trees and parks (which druids treat as groves). Gardens and communal fruit trees will be encouraged.  Eaves and spires for birds will be encouraged.  Spells like soften earth and stone, wood shape, stone shape and transmute mud to rock are useful.  Buildings may be enhanced by hallow or other spells. 
• Festivals are popular, goodberries and create water provide simple fare aided by brewing. Those who've seen the original The Wicker Man may have their own take on this.
• Druids with item creation feats may build stockpiles of useful magic.  While goodberries are seasonal, druids may follow the squirrel's example.
• Infant and mother mortality are much diminished.  A natural midwife class, spells like cure wounds, remove disease, stabilise, goodberry and restoration help to heal childbirth trauma. Druids may have reasons for helping of course.
• Ports may be grateful for druids with spells like control winds, control water or gust of wind.  Even a light spell may matter on stormy nights at sea.
• Summon Nature's Ally makes the druid a formidable foe.  Apart from potential for agriculture (aurochs, dog, horse and pony), there are other options. Morally flexible druids need never be short of poisons either.